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Portrait Practice Final

A fairly simple portrait study/practice I did using a sketch I did not long ago. Frustratingly, I am still not very happy with it. Even worse, I'm really not sure why I don't like it. Suggestions/comments/critiques are welcome!
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  • It is a great start, but I feel that the right eye (her right) is a bit large and the mouth is not aligned with the nose. The mouth is a bit straight on the face when the face is tilted at a 3/4 angle. I also recommend moving the highlights for the neck muscle to the right a bit more, you want the bottom end of that muscle that sticks out to meet at the center of her clavicles. The neck on her left side is a bit large also and could be pushed in more, at that angle you would see the opposite side of the neck muscle, the sternocleidomastoid (I had to look up the proper name lol) should be seen meeting the opposite on towards the center of her body. I would also blend the shadows out a bit more, you want some lost edges on the jaw and the neck muscle to help soften the features a bit more. You won't usually see harsh shadows on the skin unless there is dramatic lighting. Also, speaking of shadows, the hair should also create some subtle occlusion shadows where it rests on the forehead and on her shoulder. I don't know how the original portrait looks, but that would be my guess. I hope I explained my thoughts well and hopefully helps too, good luck and keep at it!

  • The proportions and perspective of the head look distorted. The pose seems also uncomfortable, the head seems twisted in relation to the body. The eyes are different sizes and the mouth looks twisted. There is a style of drawing that I think is called "box modeling" that could help you get correct proportions on the head. It looks like you moved in with a wide angle lens on it. Most portraiture (photographic) is done at longer subject distances and with longer lenses (105mm on a 35mm format) to reduce this kind of distortion. In short the geometry of the head is not believable. Beautiful model, though. In case you wonder, I went to the Rhode Island School of Design & have a BFA in Photography (1982.) Also spent 4 years in the Army as a photographer. Good Luck, she's worth it!