Does anyone else feel constantly dissatisfied with their work?

Hey there!


I wasn't sure if I should've made this a thread or just commented on, say, the class thread, but considering I can get a bit rambly I thought it best to put it here as to not clog up the chat to people who don't wanna read it.


My problem is simple: Every time I work on a project I get hyped and excited, especially in the few closing hours when it all comes together. I become borderline giddy. Though usually within a short time frame after finally completing it I look at it with a more harsh lens, pointing out every single fault and generally wishing I had did better. After that I get annoyed with myself, take the feedback I got and move on to the next project, in which the cycle continues.


I must admit I can be a perfectionist (which I understand is a bit of a death knell in the profession) and very competitive with myself, to be incredibly self-doubting and critical,  but I get a feeling I won't truly start to be proud of my work until I get to a professional standard. Every time I look at a place like ArtStation whilst I'm filled with inspiration and determination I'm also touched by despair and a hint of jealousy. Don't get me wrong, even right now I absolutely love doing this and am so glad I took it up, the combination of learning a valuable skill to meeting you guys, I'm just wondering if this train of thought is normal?


Sorry if this seems as a bit of a non-question, I just wanted to know if I'm alone on this. I'm incredibly grateful for any and all feedback I've received on my previous work 'cause I know for a fact I'd be advancing much slower without it, so thanks for reading and have a good one!

  • Jake Korosi(jakeblended) replied

    I have no idea if it's normal, but I can tell you you're definitely not alone either way.  Like in the June thread, while many people were saying "good job" about the truck, all I could see when I looked at the renders was things that were missing, or things I did wrong.  

    Don't feel bad about the jealousy!  Maybe it's a character flaw, and it's not like me to get too personal about myself anyway; but I'll confess: but I was little, almost everything I pushed myself to excel at was motivated to some degree by jealously.  I'd see some other kid my age who was good at something I was interested in (good as in "clearly better than me at it"), and the praise they'd get for their efforts, and I'd just quietly think to myself "I can do better than THAT".  And then I worked at it until it was true, or until I lost interest.   There were a couple of times where it became true and then I lost interest anyway.

    These days I'm much more even-keeled (I hope I am at least), but I still often rely on what I see others doing to motivate me to improve.  It's not competitive anymore.

    In a way it's one of the things I like the most about the new classes; I think it's a great idea to have a bunch of people all very close to the same skill level working at the same time and seeing each other's work, so that as some get just -slightly- better at this or that skill than their peers, that slight difference shows the others what's possible and encourages them rather than making them feel simply outclassed, like ArtStation sometimes can (holy smoke, ArtStation...seriously).

  • Thibaut Bourbon(tbrbn) replied

    thecabbagedetective It's perfectly normal Aaron, it's part of the process. You only see the end result of artwork that inspires you, not the struggle artists went through doing it.

    What you're pointing, that the cycles continues, is very relevant and might be one of the biggest challenge to grow, not only as an artist actually but as a person. Here's some stuff that helped me in the process:

    - alternate between big and small projects: a complete vehicle - some Boolean practice - an interior scene - sculpting a hand etc. Small projects go faster and boost your confidence. In each of these project, try to get to learn something new, and use it better for the next project (or the one after).

    - In some project, you sometime need simply to pause. Just let it idle for a couple of days and come back to it with more relaxed eyes, that will help you finding flaws faster.

    - Sometime it's OK to move on and give up on a project. Every artwork, finished or not, is a step closer to the goal you set. Don't beat yourself up :)

    - Be clear with what your goal is: if I tell you You need to work better without telling how better or what to achieve, you will legitimelly be frustrated. Set your goal clearly, and if it can be split in smaller objectives it's even better.

    - Have fun ! Don't start a project that you find boring or that requires skill you're really not into. Learning should be fun, you get more positive vibes on you project and you'll be more likely to enjoy your final work.


    It's a difficult path to go through, but again, don't beat yourself up. Practice, practice and practice, share your work here and there. Keep it up Aaron, you have all it needs to be a great artist! I'd be happy to know other's tips as well :)


    /Thibaut.


  • galledark (galledark) replied

    I totaly agree with the others !
    It's NORMAL to feel dissatisfied, because we are artist we try unconsciously to reach the perfection (wich is impossible, because it doesn't exist).... or at least a level of skills above our actual one.

    In my point of view, this is the "fate" of artists... constantly push higher our limit and be unsatisfied with what we have already...
    Thats what make us stronger... but also more vulnerable to self-doubting, especially when we compare each over.
     
    It took me a couple of time to admit that i will never be 100% satisfied with what i'm create (even if i love it).
    This is my advice:
    This art, project, render (no matter you wanna call it) is a step that you create to climb your own stairs to reach your next goal.
    Nobody needs a "prefect" step to put a feet on... We Just need a strong enough one ;)

  • Jonathan Gonzalez(jgonzalez) replied

    This comic (and quote) always keeps me motivated when I feel the same: https://zenpencils.com/comic/90-ira-glass-advice-for-beginners/

    Everyone who wants to build great things goes through the process. Even after many years doing what I do, I always want to do better. Just keep building, putting stuff out there. Learn, improve and keep creating better stuff. 

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    jakeblended  Nice to know you and I are in the same boat. I feel you on that, when I was at school I was incredibly competitive and would toil to become top of the class in everything (the exceptions being PE because hey turns out physical sports aren't nerds' strength, and art, which I was awful at, how far we've come). I don't really know why, my parents never forced that mentality on me but it's always kinda stuck. It's definitely something I need to grow out of to an extent, but I feel that drive is what helps me push myself to be better.


    I agree with the classes, they're great, though admittedly when someone posts something awesome that feeling of being outclassed comes in again, albeit to a lesser extent. I get a feeling that's why many of us were concerned with the upcoming class, as to not make beginners feel that way.  I think it might be a good idea to steer clear of ArtStation for a little bit haha. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    tbrbn Phew, that's a relief. That's also true, it's just in the moment I don't really think about the time and effort put into their craft, just what's in front of me, which is my own fault.


    1. Glad you mentioned that 'cause that's what I'm doing right now. My latest project was a big (for my standards) scene and now I'm working on a small sculpted model. It's a really refreshing pace.


    2. This is something I need to learn. When I get a project in front of me I go full throttle until it's done. Admittedly I have been stretched for time recently so I haven't had much choice other than to throw myself into it but at least I realise how important that self reflection is, even if it's happening after I finish the project.


    3. Another thing I need to learn. So far I've only given up on one project and that was due to the vehicle modeling class starting and needing to focus on that instead. Don't want it to get to the point that I'm forcing myself to work on something I hate simply to see it through.


    4. I think I'm doing this, in my latest render I wrote a list of things I intend to improve. It's admittedly a rather vague list but I believe it's a decent enough start.


    5. Ties into the 3rd point as well. The only times I can say where I haven't been having fun are when I first try something new without proper guidance and get frustrated, though usually after a couple hours I have it down and it's fun again. Unless it's volumetrics, then their gargantuan render times make me sad always.


    Thanks for the advice, it's reassuring that you went through a similar process which helps reinforce its common nature. I appreciate the encouragement and have no fear, I'll always be open for criticism!


  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    galledark  Your right about the perfection thing, doesn't stop us from trying to achieve it though haha.


    I think once I get to a standard of the likes of professionals I'll be a lot more consistently pleased with my results, but yeah I never expect to be 100% satisfied, and seeing what everyone is saying that seems to be a good thing, 'cause you're constantly striving to be better.


    Nice piece of advice at the end, it makes a good point, cheers for that!

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    jgonzalez  Haha, it's funny, I saw that quote shortly after starting my Blender journey but it just completely slipped from my mind. It's very motivating and reassuring though, so thanks for sharing.


    Hopefully in like a year or two I'll be at a level I'll be more satisfied with, but it's quite nice to hear that even after years of doing what you do you still have your drive to improve, it was admittedly concerned of burning out per se. Guess that's what tbrbn meant by having fun haha.

  • Jonathan Lampel replied

    Does anyone else feel constantly dissatisfied with their work?

    Yep, all the time. As I improve I am finding more satisfaction from completing projects, but even then there's always things that I think I should be able to do better. 

    I think I'm doing this, in my latest render I wrote a list of things I intend to improve. It's admittedly a rather vague list but I believe it's a decent enough start.

    This is perfect, keep it up! That's very similar to how I'm approaching things, and it does help projects to feel more rewarding. Even if the result isn't what I think it should be, I feel like I've learned something new. If I haven't, then the project isn't finished :) 

    Everyone else gave great advice, so I don't have much to add. Just remember that 3D is freaking hard, it can take years for folks to learn, and you're doing great so far. I love seeing you all progress, because it's way faster than I did 😊

  • smurfmier1985 replied

    It's reassuring to read that even experienced and very good 3D artists experience dissatisfaction and self doubt, I felt a bit like I was alone in this...

    So yeah, I know all about the perfectionism, competitive side, self-doubting and critical voices inside my head. I really get insecure when I spend every free minute for two weeks working very very hard to finish an exercise, which doesn't go well (read: modeling a wheel exercise), finally giving myself a deadline and submitting something far from great (feeling very nervous for a couple of days if it will even get a 'pass'), only to see someone blaze through all the courses and delivering a perfect wheel in just one day! How do they do that?? It also motivates me though, when I see what others create I want to be able to make something equally awesome, so it makes me want to learn more.

    Don't get me started on creating something from scratch, everything I tried myself doesn't even look remotely like what I imagine, even if I use great references. Whether it's lack of being able to apply the skills I learned or choosing something too difficult, I don't know. But it's pretty demotivating... Because of these many failures I'm actually a bit nervous about the beginner class exercises, making something myself... But I'm going to turn in my homework every week even if it sucks. That's how we learn right? Trying things out, getting feedback. It's important, but still a bit scary I guess.

    I love all the advice everyone has given you! I'm going to write them down in my notebook that I keep near my laptop to keep me motivated, improve my learning and to help me when I'm going through a rough patch.

    Also, in my opinion you shouldn't hold back in class, you should just do your best. Don't know about the others of course, but speaking for myself I really get inspired by the great stuff everyone here creates (even if it sometimes makes me a bit jealous). The opportunity to study blend files, asking questions, getting feedback and learning from you guys is in my opinion really valuable. I'm looking forward to it!

    Sorry for rambling about with all my worries, bit of a long post, I just wanted tell you your not alone in this. This community is awesome, the courses are awesome, so I believe we will improve and be okay 😊

    Thanks for starting this post thecabbagedetective , it also helped me finding some perspective on things I was struggling with. Wish you all the best with creating your art, from what I've seen of your work you're getting better every time, so just keep going, you'll get there 😁

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    @jlampel  Thank you kindly! It can definitely be stressful at times, but I'm so glad I picked this up. Sure I wish I could improve quicker but I don't think anyone in the history of time has thought "Y'know, I'm improving too quickly, I need to dial this back." Don't think we'd all have advanced this quickly if it wasn't for this website.

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    ssmurfmier1985 Ta very much, and you're quite welcome! I understand what you mean by how people get stuff done so quickly, I'm definitely a slow poke at the moment and take forever to make something decent. With the lackluster results too, I feel this render perfectly illustrates that. I wanted crystal gems gleaming next to a chest full of their brethren, but what I managed to created was a pile of hard candy in a toy trunk. It seems to be about bridging the gap between what you want to make and what you're capable of making in that moment.


    Don't worry about the class though, with the previous class every single week I thought what I was gonna make was gonna be a disappointment and that it was a waste of time and every week I managed to surprise myself with what I made. It's genuinely insane what a deadline and community spirit can do to your skills so even if what you make isn't god tier 10/10 professional level stuff (mine sure wasn't) it'll be a massive boost to both your understanding and your confidence.


    I'm glad to hear your thoughts on the class too. It's nice to know that the others and I have the ability to inspire and encourage newer users. We're all in this together!

  • smurfmier1985 replied

    thecabbagedetective Thanks Aaron for your kind words! I'm actually really looking forward to having deadlines, getting some things done. And the community is really great, so I'm sure I'll be motivated to work extra hard and having some fun with it.

    Funny you choose that render as an example, I already thought about what I want to make in class (I'm working as a project planner so I can't help it, I have to think ahead 😛), and I settled on making a treasure chest for second class. I was thinking to just make the chest, but seeing your render makes me think that I should fill it with some coins or something. So thank you for inspiring me with your work 😄

  • Jake Korosi(jakeblended) replied


    tbrbn 

    - Be clear with what your goal is: if I tell you You need to work better without telling how better or what to achieve, you will legitimelly be frustrated. Set your goal clearly, and if it can be split in smaller objectives it's even better. 

    Since you mention that.  When it comes to goals, I'm curious about what kind of goals other people have set for themselves.  Or rather, what everyone's metric for accomplishment is.  Is the goal you set as specific as "master technique X" or "master skill Y", or do you pick a "hero project", be it a scene or an object or a character, and progress until you feel ready to tackle that and have a good chance of executing it well?

    Back when I first started at CG Cookie in November, I came up with a project that I wanted to use as a goal, which is coincidentally a vehicle - a '57 Chevy Bel-Air.  And I want to do everything, in detail - the engine, the chassis, all of it.  I was hugely excited when the vehicle class was first announced mostly because it gave me the chance to do "a" vehicle as well as I could (in a two-week time frame at least) and see how close what I'd learned over the last 7 months had brought me toward being able to pull off that goal project.

    I think I'm getting very close to being able to start it; but once it's done, assuming I'm satisfied with it, I'll come up with another "hero project" and concentrate my learning on being able to do that.

  • smurfmier1985 replied

    jakeblended Sounds like your well on your way to reaching your first end goal, that's awesome! 

    When it comes to goals, I'm curious about what kind of goals other people have set for themselves.  Or rather, what everyone's metric for accomplishment is.  Is the goal you set as specific as "master technique X" or "master skill Y", or do you pick a "hero project", be it a scene or an object or a character, and progress until you feel ready to tackle that and have a good chance of executing it well?

    One of my biggest challenges is being able to choose a specific thing to pursue, because I like too much different things. Games, animation, characters, creatures, robots, environments, sci-fi, fantasy, etc. The list goes on and on... So when I joined CG Cookie I set myself a simple goal to start with: get comfortable with Blender. Which works perfectly for me, because it touches many different subjects. I like the variation.

    My approach:
    - Finish the “Introduction to Blender” learning flow;
    - Finish the first 5 courses on the “Modeling in Blender” learning flow;
    - Participate in the beginner modeling class;
    - Enjoy the ride! 

    Slowly but surely I'm getting there.

    My second goal will be further developing my modeling skills and finding out which part of modeling speaks to me the most:
    - Finish the "Modeling in Blender" learning flow;
    - Finish one small personal project every month (post it in the gallery and ask feedback);
    - And join the next class of course!

    After that I want to dive into game development, and make a bigger project where I do everything myself from scratch (much like your '57 Chevy Bel-Air project, but then probably a robot or a creature or a character or... you get the picture 😉).

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    ssmurfmier1985 Haha no worries, always nice to know I helped someone out, even unwittingly.


    Good plan you got as well, this place is a great place to get feedback but you might wanna upload to r/Blender for critique as well. They can be a little... blunt at times though haha.

  • Aaron Rudderham(thecabbagedetective) replied

    jakeblended  Well my end game life goals are quite simple: To become a one man indie studio and retire on a yacht with the millions I made. Yes I said it was simple, not realistic.


    In all seriousness I *really* wanna make games, been studying a little bit of programming and been writing out my GDD for my dream game (which I wouldn't start first, of course). So I guess my "for now" goal is to learn character anatomy and get some of the protags modeled, though I can't see that happening until 2019.


    Another project goal I have in mind is to recreate every single weapon in the original Ratchet & Clank game in Blender and Substance, giving them the shiny coat of paint they deserve (and which the remake didn't deliver). This seems kind of achievable now actually, just need to get used to Substance.


    I wish you the best of luck on your goals as well, vehicles are tough, which we all learnt last month, but you did damn well. I don't doubt you can do it!

  • Thibaut Bourbon(tbrbn) replied

    jakeblended Glad you asked, that's a good question :) It needs to be measurable, and in the case of CG it becomes even more difficult, because we are tempted to have "great artwork" as a goal. That's very subjective and extremely hard to quantify. 

    In my case, I used to be really sloppy with my works, not really dedicated either and I would way too often simply abandon any project. So I had really hard time commiting to my work. I was using the fact that it was "just a hobby" as an excuse.

    My goal was the to be able to do from start to end any model that I wanted, and I defined "DONE" according to what I believe is a finished model. That doens't mean flawless obivously. My other goal was to be able to deliver at a higher pace many artwork, not to have few months breaks when nothing happens. If I am able to deliver often ended product and get feedback for each of them, the quality would naturally follow - I believe. 

    So my tip would be not to focus too much on the quality, but rather on how consistent is your work and workflow.


    But for reaching a goal you need a strategy, otherwise it's only a dream. That's when I realized getting help could be beneficial and hence I registered to CGC and be more active in social medias to look for advices and give feedback. So far so good, I'm happy with where I stand !



  • smurfmier1985 replied

    thecabbagedetective Thanks for the tip Aaron, I love me some honesty with a spoonfull of bluntness so I will follow your advice and expand my feedback asking to r/Blender 😊

    Your plan is solid too, you know your dream and have some clear steps / smaller goals for right now that will get you there. Love the plan for the Ratchet & Clank game weapons, love to see those! And of course who doesn't want a yacht! Though a private jet or a futuristic hover car would be cool too 😎

  • smurfmier1985 replied

    tbrbn Great tips Thibaut! Consistently delivering artwork and following through on the projects you start isn't easy, but I think you've got a good point there. And seeing your gallery page I have to say I think you're on to something with this 'quality would naturally follow' thing 😁