ihatelemons

6 replies · posted

How do I muster up the ability to create a 'platform' in a stage like this?

The title explains a bit of it. Lately things have been painful.

In some time in mid 2016 I began 3d modelling/cg. My stuff was terrible, but I thought i'd get better at it and be able to put myself 'out there'. I had an idea that i'd be able to get reasonably good at it and then i'd put myself out there, i'd create a platform, and develop a portfolio and be able to become somewhat of a freelancer or be able to help make a cg movie. Even if I just became a hobbyist, it would be okay because I would like the work I made at that point.

I had a mini goal that by the end of 2017 i'd create an account on some social media platform and have at least 5 finished, eligible works to display on that platform.

I had to get a new computer which wiped off a few of my works, but that's just one thing.

Even if I still had my old laptop, I still had none. No good works to display. Since late 2016 it's like i've made no progress.

I had a project from late june, 2017, which was my first real project on creating an organic, human character. I was so excited and motivated, even if this one didn't look good it wouldn't matter because this was 'the first step' and would be my 'first finished project!' I believed that after this I would make much more.

Then, I realized that I didn't know how to sculpt or retopologize hands, feet, or ears.

I have been trying since July to learn. I still don't get it. The project was never finished.

Then school came back and I didn't even touch blender or python because I was so disorganized and loaded with stress and mandatory assignments and it was just painful because it felt like my time was being taken away from me and I wasn't even doing well for the one thing I tried to give my all in: Math. I had taken so much time out and I didn't get higher than a C.  

It's all just...Real embarrasing. The year is coming to an end, and I feel so..empty. 

I don't want to give up, but it's like i'm just meant to be slow, forgetful and not good at anything I care about. It feels like that's a part of me that's already defined by 'fate' or some sort. I wan't to believe that's not true but it's just.. 6 month delay and I still don't know how to create hands, feet or ears and they look the same as before? Geez.

Advice very needed right now. Thank you for reading. Happy new year.

  • crew

    For starting in mid-2016 you're making fine progress. It took me waaaay more than a year to wrap my head around making a character. Don't get discouraged - 3D is hard to learn for a reason. 

    I don't want to give up, but it's like i'm just meant to be slow, forgetful and not good at anything I care about.

    Take a break if you need one. Everyone hits this wall, and if you try to plow right through you'll probably burn out. Try not touching 3D for a week and come back with fresh eyes. If you're still in school then you've got plenty of time. It's the people that come back over and over that get good.

    That feeling is a clear indicator that you're doing something hard, and the things that are hard to do are often valuable since not everyone will do them. Use frustration as a sign post that you're going in the right direction. That's just as true for art as it is for math. 

    When you come back, take a step back and do a few quick projects to get back into the swing of things. Make something you find on your desk like a pen or coffee cup. Those things are easy to make poorly but challenging to do well. So go all out on something simple. Forget what you were working on before and start fresh.

    Don't worry about social media yet. Post your work on the site here to get feedback, and maybe one other site if you want, but don't think you need a following to get good. At the beginning it's more of a distraction than anything. 

    Your homework is to read either So Good They Can't Ignore You or Deep Work by Cal Newport and post here what you learned. 

    •  I think i'm ready to talk about what I learned. I'm midway through the book and don't feel better, but I do feel a bit enlightened.

      I just need to keep going. I have to continue on so I can get better. I read So Good They Can't Ignore You and was confused, yet motivated.

      I was a bit confused on some of the topics, Like passion and craftmanship, and got worried at first.

       I wondered about building skill when you have multiple paths you want to hone. I don't want to get rid of any of these choices because I enjoy all of them (cg, Programming, Math)  But with school time-mangement gets...difficult.


      I try to merge math at least with school but the school itself and the teachers aren't that approachable or great. I end up having to study at home, which in turn is the time that I'm supposed to have for cg and programming. I try to do cg on one day and programming in the other, but the project always stretches on for longer than I plan and I'll feel 'guilty' for not tending to the one i've neglected. The cycle continues.  What should I do?

      Thank you for the advice. I'm continuing to read So Good They Can't Ignore you and just do a few small cg projects to rebuild my confidence so  I don't do anything regrettable. Thank you so much Johnathan for helping me, and a happy new  year!

  • I did say you were too rush,Your experience is still very low compare to the others.

    It take years to create a stunning work,One of my favorite artist use his time almost 6 years to become what I have seen 3-4 years ago and everybody admit his skill,which means it almost 10 years or more than that to become a professional artist.

    Being a freelance artist is not something that you can managed in just 1 year,A lot of great artist spent a lot of time on training himself.

    Even  the young one as well,actually she has already been practiced a lot in art theory ,so it won't take long before she can get good at the tool.

    It does not take long time to learn tools.

    Imagine it's a sword,It does not take a lot of time to grab and give it a few swings.

    But it took a lot of time how to use the sword properly.

    Another one example is Bachelor degree,I believe you know that by standard of any career in the University require at least 3 years up to 4 years by default before you can graduated.

    It's also apply in the same way,even for a bachelor degree you need to spend 3 years at least before you can graduated.


    Creating a showcase is not something that you can take it lightly,if you have a time please visit my profile and have a look at my project,It took me 6 months to crate those from someone who had already have some experience on 3D programs.

    Beside ,it's not like that you can just use Blender for everything ,you need to learn more tool that Blender as well.

    So,your task is a long road and a tough one,as Jonathan Lampel mentioned above.

    if you are tired ,rest then come back,don't stress yourself too much.


  • okay I can feel your pain.
    Don´t feel alone. Trust me. Everybody was there where you are now. And sometimes we are going back to that point....

    Don´t stress yourself. Don´t expect archievements on mid-term... learn to think on long term and have patience. 

    Life isn´t easy and for a 100% it won´t turn out as you wish it to be. In fact you will only get what you work hard for. But you won´t be able to plan even that because life will take it own turns and you will be confronted with things you´d never imagened. But that´s what will make you grow, will make strong and will define you as person and finally as an artist. In the end you will benefit from your struggle.
    I recommend you to watch Steve Job´s famous graduation speech on youtube.

    I see your frustration but that only proves you are on the right way. You have the passion to do something, to create something and to archieve your goals.
    But I kind of have the feeling you lead your energy in the wrong direction - have the wrong motives. You do CG because... Why exactly? To show off your work online and to get a freelance job? That kind of goals are too weak. It´s the same as going to work for money. These people hate their jobs and are frustrated of life. I guess you have a lot of passion and love for your art. Maybe it´s time to think about your motives and goals. Focus on the essence what really gets you going - from the bottom of your heart. Look into yourself.

    Don´t worry about school eating time up. If you do have patience, you will find a way to get both - your school and your personal interests - in harmony. I personally struggle with a similiar issue atm. It´s hard to get all things managed... it is a daily struggle but worth it. And it´s hard for me to accept that it will payoff over a long period of time... 

    So don´t give up. Would be a waste! I truly wish you a productive and good 2018. Happy new Year! ;)

  • Hey there, iihatelemons! That's one hard thing about plans: No matter how strong your convictions of finishing them, things happen that will mostly throw you off. It feels difficult to claw your way back to a place where you feel you can continue with your plans, but if you do that, and keep it up, you'll definitely have progressed from where you were.

    I know that it can feel really discouraging, like you have no place in the art that you want to make, especially if you see someone else creating wonderful, masterful works. You're at your own level, though, and you have to take your own time and challenge yourself. Everybody has a variation of time where they've needed to hone their skills.  For some, it's taken over a decade, even close to two decades, to get a little closer to where they want to be.

    I feel like I'm one of those two-decade types. After years of alternating between working and languishing with my art, only in the past couple of years have I tried focusing on just a few areas at once. I like a lot of CG art techniques, and sometimes it's difficult to stick with one! I'm impatient at times, as well. I haven't got nearly as far as I'd like to be. However, to give up has always brought me to sadness, so I don't do that now. Even at those tempting moments of despair.

    Keep going! I advise you also: Even when you HAVE plenty of time, if you don't use that time, you won't get any further than if you only have 30 minutes in the week. Thinking is much easier than doing, and when you realize how much time you used in only thinking, time has passed. Another regret. You don't want to worry yourself about that, either.

    As others have said, you will find the time, even a little in the week, and if you make it yours to play, you'll appreciate that time and progress all the more. Good success; to 2018!! :D

  • I'm a slow learner as well, and 3D is a hard field to learn, and there are so many I wish to learn. Sculpting, Hard Surface, Retopology, Texturing, Animation, Rigging, Coding for games, etc. I wish I could learn them all at once, but sadly that is impossible. Like you, there have been many times when I wished to give up because it seemed that I just wasn't making progress at all. Frustration, disappointment, feeling that it maybe wasn't for me, heh I know that feeling quite well. 

    My advice would be to take a break and try to organize your study. Instead of trying to learn multiple fields, focus mainly on one. That's how I eventually began to make progress. You seem to be doing the sculpting the most according to your other posts, so if you've got time in between your school work, focus on that. Don't worry about such things as retopology and texturing. Just sculpt until you are comfortable enough in the subject you feel you are ready to advance to the next. 

    It might be frustrating, but if you've got limited time, then it's especially important not to overwhelm yourself. Also taking a break for a few days, a week can do wonders even if you don't want to.